Words Unsaid

9th Mar 2013

Opps

She was beautiful, smart, & honest.
Did everything she promised.
And didn’t even miss a beat when you said,
“jump on it”

Held you down when you were floating
picked up the pieces where you were broken
always had her ears and heart open
Kept you in line and kept you focused

But you started to abuse her kindness
and took it for stupidity
Gave her all the responsibility
And still asked her “pity me?”

And she did for a while, but only till the time came
She realize she was playing the man in this game
She asked you for your help, said she needed change
And you sat there comfortably in your shame.

Now you realize your mistake,
And you claim to regret
Losing a women who forgave,
but will never forget.

9th Mar 2013

eventually

They say “fight for what you love”
I been fighting for so long,
My white flag looks more like a due rag
that i wear the wrong
way,
I tally each day
and hope that with each line
each memory will go away.

I’ll be here for a while
seems that these lines don’t ever end
I got memories of enemies
who I call friends
and friends who crossed boundaries
cross over lovers
two separated individuals
glued to each other
oblivious of one another

keeping beds warm
will only keep hearts cold
so they tell me to keep fighting
I do what I am told
I plead “for how long”?
They say until it gets old
I tell them it’s part of me
that’s why it won’t go.

“Try”
But where are my efforts most wasted?
In trying to forget you
or trying to make it
they say you can do anything if you believe
and a long as you don’t want it, but need
don’t give up without a fight
but its been zero days and about 120 nights

time without you has no day
so I count the nights that pass away
and consider each new thought
a sunrise
and when my thoughts her
i close my eyes
and dream
that things won’t be as they seem
and that the rays will reveal you next to me.
Eventually,

9th Mar 2013

Girlfriend

True Story

“my girlfriend”
He is referring to this two month old thing
barley called a relationship
with this white chick
who keeps his time occupied and his tip dipped
-girlfriend?
I’m sorry I don’t know what that is,
I’m only familiar with the terms
“my wife” or “you crazy bitch”
-synonymous
both my aliases-
tell me how you enjoy feeling skin when you kiss
Tell you don’t miss feeling extacy & bliss
internal reactions that will never again exist
Only our chemical’s react to that mix.

“She is a good girl”
Speaking of that honeymoon phase
that hasn’t gone away
so you have no idea what she is like on a bad day.
Of course she is good, she don’t know you yet,
never felt your cold side or heard your cold threats,
Hasn’t held you down when you are crazy stressed,
nor been with you when everything is a mess
Never has she sat next to you in the E.R.
While you cry out over broken bones in your arm
caused by an argument ending with scars
let me know then where you two are.
We held hands walking through hell
so excuse me for not being the “good girl”
remember I stood by you when the heavens fell
and still stuck around to rebuild your world.

“Well, I think I love her”
Love is not a thought nor a choice,
you say it with no passion in your eyes
no confidence in your voice
But for the past 10 minutes I’v been standing here
you can’t help but to say you love me
and my body hears
the genuine tone of lonesomeness
and I hold back not to grab and kiss
every inch of your face
because this is no longer our front yard
and I know my place,
but best believe this still belongs to me
rightfully
and I hate you both
spitefully
But I adore you
You adore me
and I’ll wait until you come to your right mind
and life returns to me what is mine.