She was beautiful, smart, & honest.
Did everything she promised.
And didn’t even miss a beat when you said,
“jump on it”
Held you down when you were floating
picked up the pieces where you were broken
always had her ears and heart open
Kept you in line and kept you focused
But you started to abuse her kindness
and took it for stupidity
Gave her all the responsibility
And still asked her “pity me?”
And she did for a while, but only till the time came
She realize she was playing the man in this game
She asked you for your help, said she needed change
And you sat there comfortably in your shame.
Now you realize your mistake,
And you claim to regret
Losing a women who forgave,
but will never forget.
She was beautiful, smart, & honest.
They say “fight for what you love”
I been fighting for so long,
My white flag looks more like a due rag
that i wear the wrong
I tally each day
and hope that with each line
each memory will go away.
I’ll be here for a while
seems that these lines don’t ever end
I got memories of enemies
who I call friends
and friends who crossed boundaries
cross over lovers
two separated individuals
glued to each other
oblivious of one another
keeping beds warm
will only keep hearts cold
so they tell me to keep fighting
I do what I am told
I plead “for how long”?
They say until it gets old
I tell them it’s part of me
that’s why it won’t go.
But where are my efforts most wasted?
In trying to forget you
or trying to make it
they say you can do anything if you believe
and a long as you don’t want it, but need
don’t give up without a fight
but its been zero days and about 120 nights
time without you has no day
so I count the nights that pass away
and consider each new thought
and when my thoughts her
i close my eyes
that things won’t be as they seem
and that the rays will reveal you next to me.
He is referring to this two month old thing
barley called a relationship
with this white chick
who keeps his time occupied and his tip dipped
I’m sorry I don’t know what that is,
I’m only familiar with the terms
“my wife” or “you crazy bitch”
both my aliases-
tell me how you enjoy feeling skin when you kiss
Tell you don’t miss feeling extacy & bliss
internal reactions that will never again exist
Only our chemical’s react to that mix.
“She is a good girl”
Speaking of that honeymoon phase
that hasn’t gone away
so you have no idea what she is like on a bad day.
Of course she is good, she don’t know you yet,
never felt your cold side or heard your cold threats,
Hasn’t held you down when you are crazy stressed,
nor been with you when everything is a mess
Never has she sat next to you in the E.R.
While you cry out over broken bones in your arm
caused by an argument ending with scars
let me know then where you two are.
We held hands walking through hell
so excuse me for not being the “good girl”
remember I stood by you when the heavens fell
and still stuck around to rebuild your world.
“Well, I think I love her”
Love is not a thought nor a choice,
you say it with no passion in your eyes
no confidence in your voice
But for the past 10 minutes I’v been standing here
you can’t help but to say you love me
and my body hears
the genuine tone of lonesomeness
and I hold back not to grab and kiss
every inch of your face
because this is no longer our front yard
and I know my place,
but best believe this still belongs to me
and I hate you both
But I adore you
You adore me
and I’ll wait until you come to your right mind
and life returns to me what is mine.
I grip these sheets & just breath,
because they still smell of you.
No artificial perfume or shampoo.
Just your body’s sweet residue.
Gives me flashbacks of when my back
was facing you.
& you were consistently crashing through,
my deepest dew.
As I stare at these markings,
permanent as tattoos_
I can not help but to press pause & review:
When my mind hibernated and my soul flew-
Our bodies became instant glue,
& where no longer two.
Senses were awaken & renewed.
With no room to construe_
any understanding we had to come to.
In order for me to come too,
you had to out do
any pleasure I ever knew & was use to.
And you continued to push through
until it was well overdue,
& satisfied me till the very moment